This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.
aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger
this girl just jacked me off with this weird extra hand she called a vagina... I think she might be a mutant
got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes
a little bloody mary comic idea I had last halloween
[image ID: a four page digital comic.
panel 1: a thin woman with long dark hair and light skin is seen from behind sitting in front of a vanity mirror in a room full of mirrors. text placed on the back of her head reads, "lots of people know my name."
panel 2: a group of school girls gather around a mirror in a dark school bathroom lit with candles as one of them writes "bloody mary" on the mirror. text on one of the girls' backs reads, "I get calls all the time."
panel 3: the girls run out of the bathroom screaming. text: "but no one is ever happy to see me."
panel 4: a curvy person with light skin and a partially shaved head half-laid out on the floor of a bedroom looks startled as bloody mary emerges from a full-length mirror in front of them. text: "when they don't run away[...]"
panel 5: the person is shown from behind as they hold up a polaroid to bloody mary. text: "they ask me, hunched and trembling, to perform curses and hexes for them."
panel 6: bloody mary shown halfway through a mirror. text: "I never quite know how to respond."
panel 7: bloody mary has her head down on her vanity desk. text: "no one ever calls just to see me."
panel 8: a darker-skinned hand with long black nails writes bloody mary's name on a mirror with red lipstick in a candlelit room. text: "no one[...]"
panel 9: bloody mary emerges from the mirror in front of a darker-skinned woman with two buns and red lipstick, who is smiling. no text.
panel 10: bloody mary is shown up close as the woman tucks mary's hair behind he ear, showing more of her ghostly face, and a bright red lipstick kiss mark on her cheek. text: "except her."
panel 11: bloody mary sits in her mirror room admiring the kiss mark on her cheek with a hand mirror. no text. end ID.]
the state of tiktok skits about having a rude customer is getting out of control i just saw one from a pharmacist and the whole skit was like someone comes in and goes “you shorted me on pills” and the pharmacist goes “no we didn’t you can see on the prescription it said to give you this many” and the patient goes “well i usually get more so i’m gonna call my doctor about this” like how is that customer being unreasonable or a karen or whatever
but the whole skit was about pain meds and we all know if someone wants more pain meds it’s bc they’re a lying addict trying to scam you and not just someone who’s confused bc their doctor made a mistake so it’s ok to post skits on tiktok portraying them as a villain for wanting the medication that was prescribed to them
Karen is quickly becoming one of those terms that's lost all meaning, like so many before it.
Like. You ask me to define "Karen" and I'd say it's the lady today who said she wanted a chicken sandwich then threw a fit when I told her we've never served chicken but could do a turkey burger, calling me stupid, insisting we've always given her chicken before, then insisting she speak with the manager (which is me).
Meanwhile, my 16 year old sister was telling me about a Karen at her work (she works in a really nice retirement home) who was a lady who asked for no sugar in her tea, was given sweet tea, and then explained she couldn't drink it because she was diabetic and it might kill her. "Like, she was such a bitch," my sister said, "She wouldn't even drink it! Told me to send it back and get her a new one!" Which, like, maybe it's because I'm old now, but if I messed up someone's drink and they had a medical condition that kept them from drinking that drink, they're not the bad guy in that situation. The proper response is to fix it, but my sister's been raised by her phone and is on TikTok all the time and thinks that "Karen" and "mild inconvenience" are the same thing.
i always forget obama has a brother who really fucking hates him until he does stuff like this
alright I reflected on the self. I'm 100% sure the beasts are the issue here
Hell yeah bro. 🤝Time for top surgery
sorry homie. I see now you said beasts. Like, The animal . Not breasts. The word for boobs. Did not mean to threaten you.
this is so fucking funny
World Heritage Post
mellofi